If you want to change the way you feel, to increase happiness, satisfaction and self acceptance and to decrease depression, anxiety and despair, you’re not alone. Creating a new relationship with pain and discomfort is the path to blossoming emotionally.
Sounds like fun? It probably doesn’t. But think about it. The nature of feelings is that they change. The way to get in the way of that is to refuse to feel them. Then they stay there, crouching just behind us, demanding to be experienced.
Deep down, many of us believe our pain will destroy us. It won’t. Fear of feelings is what most damages us. Fear of emotional pain and discomfort is what shackles us to unhappy lives.
Of course, distraction is a crucial skill. We couldn’t live without it. Too often, though, the attempt to distract ourselves from a painful feeling becomes a struggle, and actually increases the power of that pain in our lives.
Being in the here and now is an essential skill. It helps in two directions: it gives us a healthy way of using distraction to feel better. And it allows us to face our feelings and so to heal emotionally. The best way I know to build your ability to notice here and now is mindfulness.
Face your feelings. Face your pain. You’ll feel better for it.